Holiday Banter & The Terrifying Anonymous Solitude

A Holiday dinner typically brings an ideal space for my outgoing spirit to shine in its fullness - pulling out all the stops - delivering laughter, playful humor, and a toast for whatever the occasion - even if I have to make one up. This year, Kim completed the last of 4 important exams... and dad secured an extension at his work. There's always a reason to raise our glasses, I think - and togetherness and cheer give way to conversation, which I love the most! One meal, we went around the table and offered our favorite Christmas carol and movie - to which I proclaimed the predictable "Chestnuts Roasting... and It's a Wonderful Life" to some groans from the guys but a good feeling in my chest. I love to ask questions about things deeper than many people initially offer - and most find that engaging and meaningful - by the end. The wine helps, but all in all we cover a vast array of topics from parenting, childhood memories, politics, activism, God. This dinner, I found myself chiming in with great ease - filling in each quiet moment with another question, another observation, another joke, another topic. With several of us around the table, there is always someone to pounce on the bait - and so the conversation continues in rapid pace. It works. It's functional, and even appreciated. Its fun to be the "life of the party" as they say! But, this time I reflected on this and realized that the dinner was perfect in nearly every way except that we accomplished a myriad of words and a great pace, but lacked margin, quiet, space. It got me thinking about why we move so fast and what we miss out on. It made me think about how busy we all are - with a good sense of what is important in life, but poor execution year after year. You know, the typical things people on their death beds write poems about: taking walks for our health, wresting with our kids, writing hand written notes to people we care about, praying, and taking time to just rest long enough so we can hear our own thoughts and maintain our bearings.

A good friend gave me a book called Sabbath which I started reading over this holiday. Page 51 offered... For some people, emptiness can feel fertile and spacious, alive with possibility... But others feel emptiness as an ache, a void; something painful, in need of being filled. Most are far more anxious about having to confront whatever will come up in the empty space, when (we) are quiet and alone. Who knows what terror lurks in the anonymous solitude?

As the new year approaches, with it's customary invitation to make resolutions in our lives, I am considering embracing more of this emptiness- more of this intentional quiet and rest. For me, maybe the blessing of being gregarious also comes with an invitation to be more settled the need to rest. I think we are all afraid of the quiet - even the more introverted souls who stay busy at work or in the kitchen or with some other distraction. The invitation to all of us is to pay attention to how we engage conversations, to-do lists, and how much time we set aside for intentional quiet. Who knows what we will hear. It may be terrifying things we have been trying to avoid - or forgiveness we needed to know. I was blessed to find some of both this holiday - and wish the same for you. Happy New Year.

Just One Lesson

As I approach another birthday, I have been thinking a lot. Today, over lunch I was talking with a close friend and we agreed that we once thought, and even hoped, that the lessons we learned in life would stick with us - that we could retain them and build on them, but that has not been my experience with the really important lessons. We get into the hard moments in life (we're out of money and scared, we lost our job and loosing confidence, we lost a dream and now tired of risking again, we lost a friendship and tired of feeling alone). These hard moments seem to come as a total surprise and so we lose our bearings and grasp at false choices. Sometimes we give up and pull back and get depressed and worried like it's all to much to bear and the outlook is utter disaster. I feels hopeless when you just know it will end badly. Sometimes we hold on even tighter and try to make something happen, trying to control the entropy that answers to no one. Headaches set in, and traffic surrounds us. A trip to the wine store or Netflix provide a short-lived distraction... but the darkness is all back before long. It never occurs to us that the lesson we learned in the light (just 10 days ago or 10 months ago) was meant for this very moment. Oh, I remember the small lessons or pithy truths - like "don't cry over spilled milk" or "this too shall pass" and "the sun will come out tomorrow"... but it's the bigger lessons and truths beneath cliches that elude me. Is there someone, namely God, in control of everything? Is there someone who's ultimate plan is good? Does it all fall on my shoulders... or is there a force bigger than me that is blessing me, looking out for me, and even providing for me? If I stumble, will someone help me? In hard economic times like these, most of us will have to learn to live on less, many of us will struggle to make ends meet, while others will not even have bread and milk, let alone presents under a tree for Christmas. I wonder if they feel that God is small and has abandoned them, or if they know their God is big because they see how he helps them find a way every day. So, here I am again, rethinking this lesson... relearning this lesson... and realizing that there may not be 1000 lessons to learn in life; rather just 1 core lesson that we need to re-learn and re-experience a 1000 times.

Lucky

This Thanksgiving, I feel... and maybe more then ever before... I feel... Lucky. My wife, my kids, my work with the Dispensary of Hope, St. B's, new dear friends, supper club, our home. It all takes a lot of hard work, and sacrifices, and willingness to endure set backs and dissapointments... but today, more than anything, I feel fortunate. I feel like I am getting the better end of the deal - blessed and lucky.

Exactly what is "socialism"?

For two years now, we've all been hearing that if Obama gets elected, the forces of socialism would take over our country. Honestly, it sounds scary (like an alien invasion or attack of the body snatchers)... but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that no one ever seemed to explain it or even understand it, so I decided to resist joining the masses in fearing something I didn't understand, and research the topic. Here's some of what I uncovered...

If we were starting a new country, history shows us variations of a few ideologies that orient how a country's economy and government works. To best answer what socialism is, it helps to unpack the extreme opposites of capitalism and communism - which revels socialism's place.

A. Capitalism was founded on concepts from the manuscript "Wealth of Nations." It features: individualism, free markets, profit motive, and private property-in a environment of civil liberties. In it's purist form, it rejects all government regulation and intervention and relies completely on supply and demand forces of a free market. It suggests that wealth is the primary sign of success, whereas the rich deserve to be rich, and the poor deserve to be poor. America and the western world offers examples of how it may be the best structure to offer maximum opportunity and sustainability, but because it favors the rich, its weaknesses are greed and corruption at the top and cyclical poverty at the bottom.

B. Communism started with the observations and questions raised by Marx who wanted to right the wrongs of monarchy and capitalism and achieve Utopia. He articulated the ideals of the common good, social responsibility, economic collectivism, and group ownership. In the 1700's, Lenin applied this ideology by forming Communist Russia where the state controlled all industry, wealth, and land ownership to ensure equal housing, wages, benefits. The former USSR, Cuba, and China offer examples of how communist dictatorships demand citizen compliance, control the press, and realize mixed economic results but limited freedom.

So, as I'm understanding it, capitalism and communism could be considered opposites - both in terms of economic drivers and individual freedoms. So, I'm convinced that some of Communism's ideals are not all bad (common good) but capitalism is superior if you actually want the economy to work and citizens to be free. So, it appears there is a reasonable argument that capitalism requires modifications to achieve the "common good" - and this is why various government interventions are added. It's not a replacement model like Communism, rather an attempt to create a hybrid mix of the best of capitalism and the best of communism's ideals. Looking for an example? Look no further then America! Yes, the US model is NOT pure capitalism. To try to correct the shortfalls of capitalism, we've added Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the VA, unemployment benefits, and other social services. Now, we can debate if the government has already gone too far, and that Obama would take us further... but my friends (thank you Mr. McCain), we are already a part capitalistic and part socialistic nation.

The Beginning of the End of the "Religious Right"?

Remember the good old days when political categories were simple and predictable? Democrats represented unions, teachers, the poor, and the liberals (aka the godless Left)... while Republicans could always count on big corporations, hunters, seniors and God-fearing church-going folk (aka the "Religious Right"). But is this still true today?

The 2008 election of Senator Obama, and a modest overthrow of the Republicans in Congress reveals that the categories are shifting. Did you know that per NYT Exit Polls Obama made gains among religious voters - attracting Catholic (54%) and Jewish (78%) votes, and even Protestant and Evangelical voters(45%)? It's interesting that so many Jewish Americans supported a man that the GOP tried to cast as Muslim and not pro-Israel (and then just today Obama selected a Jewish man to be his Chief of Staff). It's also interesting that Obama attracted 43% of all people who "attend church at least once a week" - so either churches have lost their way, or maybe Obama stands for enough priorities that fit inside their Christian world view. Granted John McCain won the votes of more of white Evangelicals, but it was by a smaller margin than President Bush won in 2004 and many younger voters that I have met who go to church saw the 2008 election as an opportunity to rethink their faith and politics - and we've not been comfortable landing in the stereotype of the "religious right" of the Republican party. Some did not vote republican for the first time and voted independent or for Obama. So what is the explanation of this exodus from the "Religious Right" by so many church-going people?

I read an interesting article today that offered an explanation... Some theologians suggest that the religious shift signals the emergence of a faith-based coalition that will counterbalance or, perhaps, replace the religious right. It’s made up of mainline religious progressives, black and Hispanic Evangelicals, and a growing number of younger, white Evangelicals and Catholics.
A “whole new faith coalition is coming together and reaching out to allies in other faith traditions, both Jewish and Muslim,” says Jim Wallis, a theologian on religion and public life. “The generational shift [among Evangelicals and Catholics] is very significant. Many young Christians cast a post-religious-right ballot.” Other analysts say Obama did make inroads with younger white evangelicals in key states like Colorado and Indiana, where he boosted his support among Evangelicals by 14 percentage points and 8 percentage points, respectively, over Kerry’s 2004 levels.

So I wonder... Is this a reflection of a younger generation that is not as traditionalist... or is it possible that God is actually neither a Republican or a Democrat - and one party does not own Him... and both sides reflect priorities that matter to thoughtful Christians. As a former "Right-wing" Republican, I recommend that the GOP and conservative Christians in particular resist "The Sky is Falling" dismay, and in stead do some soul searching and look again at the broader list of priorities that matter to God. Otherwise, they are going to continue to lose voters - and before long there will be a voting block called the "Religious Left" who are still pro-life and pro-marriage but also identify with broader moral values of stewardship - around poverty, health care, creation-care, and womb to tomb right to life - that inspires creative solutions to balance personal responsibility with the common good.

The Day After America Elected Obama

Last night, nearly 100 million citizens engaged in their democracy and showed up to pull the lever - and the conclusion is that, for the first time in a long time, we voted down the Republican candidates and voted up the Democrats and the first black President? At the same time, we voted in California, to uphold the traditional and Biblical definition of marriage, while allowing doctor assisted end of life measures and legal use of "illegal" drugs.

Senator Obama's first words as President-elect showed promise of humility, inclusiveness, and pragmatic problem solving. Only time will tell what these soaring words will look like - but I expect a thoughtful decision maker, who leans on the pragmatic needs of the country as a whole more than making the Democratic majority congress happy. I could be dead wrong, but so could the scared conservative nay-sayers.... and only time will tell. For now, over 60,000,000 Americans voted for Obama - and he deserves a chance, our support, and let's see what happens.

Daddy, will you still like me if I play for the NY Giants?

I was sitting on a stuffed blue child-sized chair with my 5-year old on Sunday while watching a captivating episode of "Little Bear." Sometime after the duck and his friend started having a tea party, my son looked up at me and blurted out, "Dad, I was thinking that when I grow up I want to be a spaceman.... and (long thinking pause) a football player. But not for your team, the Eagles. No, I will be a football player for the Giants. Dad, if I play for the NY Giants, will you still like me then? My son adds... "Because, I really want you to still like me all the time."

I shifted 100% of my attention to this little boy's central question. It is my question and your question. Whatever the "if", we need to have someone respond with an emphatic yes, That they will always still like us. I looked down at my son, and said "I will like you and love you no matter what... and if you play football for the NY Giants, I will jump up and down and cheer for you." He just turned and started watching Little Bear again... but we both knew that while Daddy is an Eagles fan through and through, something even more important was just established between us. Later that day, it just so happened that the Eagles game was not shown in our area, but the Giants and Cowboys game was. So, I cheered with my son - and his aunt and uncle visiting from out of town - and just so happened that the Giants won!