Grateful (and other observations from Outliers)

With the Gulf waves crashing on the Easter weekend shore, I sit in the sun finishing the last few chapters of Malcolm Gladwell's book, Outliers-The story of success. This is the guy who wrote Tippling Point and Bling. What I thought would be a purely intellectual analysis of how the most successful people in the world became to be so successful... this page-turner has turned out to be a deeply affirming and inspiring look at how I, or any of us got to where we are. While it's no surprise that he suggests that it's a matter of effort (it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become great at something) and hard work (the rice farmers who work 360 days getting up before dawn each day)... he uncovers countless examples of how it's actually less about effort and more so a matter of timing, legacy, culture, a myriad of the right people helping us at just the right times, and a host of other seemingly coincidences - and the choreography of them. While debunking most of my preset assumptions about what leads to success... he focuses on how successful people constantly move toward "meaningful work", a direct relationship between work and reward, and autonomy... and in stripping away the idea that a person's own volition is enough, he leaves us with a void that only gratitude can fill. If we are successful at all... it is because a host of family, friends, teachers, bosses, co-workers, neighbors, and even strangers have helped us in just the right ways. I finished the book feeling successful - as I have meaningful relationships, meaningful work, a meaningful faith. I could sulk from the disadvantages that come from an absent, abusive father, or limited opportunities growing up fairly poor in rural Maine, and a much longer list of things that don't typically lead to success... or, on the other hand, I started to conjure up an even longer list of people and moments that shaped me that freed me and helped me get to where I am today. A caring nurse and artistic mother... a work ethic I learned from my father, how to navigate keeping the peace and fun with my siblings... building the stamina to work through college and graduate in 3 years... the lucky break of becoming a bus driver for a clinic which eventually needed some marketing help... which eventually led me to help with other start ups... which prepared me for my health care experience at AIM, and the executive training ground which sharpened me and paved the way for "meaningful" work at the Dispensary of Hope. My introduction to wine while dating Kim and later friendship with my Jimmy Collins exposed me to a growing interest in wine - which led ot the invention of Vintage Graphs with my good friend Reb. If I want to feel lucky, I don't need to look any further then crossing paths with Kim - who would eventually be my wife... as while we have our challenges, she has also been a timely source of confidence, support, and formation for me - as just the right times... Without her, I am sure I would have never been ready for any of the past 10 years. And this does not even include the unmerited hidden blessings that come from my legacy of Scottish tenacity, Simpson blue eyes, Yarnell creativity, Philadelphia grit, and Maine down-to-earth-ness. I am aware that each of these bring scars, generational sins, and dysfunctions... but they don't get enough credit for the gifts they bring into my life before I even started. So, yes, while I close this book, feeling affirmed in being successful in terms of coming from so much and now living a meaningful life, it does not puff up my ego - thinking my efforts were the prime motivator... rather, I feel humbled, grateful, and sure that God has been pouring good things into me all along... and this choreography of events has been divinely inspired all along...

PS- the last chapter of Outliers is inspiring and a beautiful tribute to the authors mother and grandmother - and Providence. You should read it if you get the chance.

Marriage: Commitment, Vitality, and Chemistry

Today, my heart is serious and somber as I wonder how many of our marriages are going to make it. We've all heard that the stats indicate 50% will survive, but even then, for the ones technically intact, how many have any real vitality? Is it enough to celebrate the institution, the civic and religious ceremony, the symbolism of the rings, the steel commitment? Or is marriage the inspired incubator for two individuals to be forced to find truth and life as individual parts so they can enter into vitality and missional living as a whole? And if the latter is just as important as the former, how do we measure a marriage that's "together" but dead? I know God imagined marriage as holy and some kind of mysterious bond - because of how it brought out the best in us and we didn't do so well alone. I know that God's idea must not be about staying with someone who sucks life out of you, as we all need it to be safe and uplifting at it's core. So abusive marriages aside, maybe a good marriage is one that includes a series of awakenings and eruptions that make us really alive. The writer david wilcox would say it's when where close enough to the shore to stay alive but far enough to feel alive. Yes! That's where I want to be! And God must have known that we all step into this with deep wounds, distant longings, and dark secrets - and they may never be discovered without the safety and security - but also the pain and frustration that marriage evokes. I know God says we should not split up carelessly... but is the institution of marriage itself really his highest concern, or is he equally, even more so concerned about each of His wonderfully created children and how alive they are? Because, when marriages fail, it's not that a document is broken - it's about two people that have been broken. Maybe that, more then the institution, is why God hates divorce. I know we're called to be committed. But to what?

Today's heavy perspective comes from a few recent encounters with good friends who shared their despondent declaration of divorce. The first time, I left and cried for oven an hour. I cried for them, and for my parents, and every beautiful spirit broken by another person in this holy, yet unholy arrangement we call marriage. I cried for my own marriage and how much we hurt each other and how close any of us can be to this painful conclusion. Tears filled my eyes the second time as I sat across from someone who could not cry anymore. This feeling remains heavy as it feels like the loss of innocence for my peer group. We've got this far in life, and we're all either disappointed, and too scared to address it... or we're waking up inside and fighting like hell. We go to counseling, we go to confession, we dive in and try to find our bearings again. If our spouses are up for the fight or happen to be in the same space, then our marriages have a fighting chance. If not, we end up divorced - or... stay in a dead marriage. How can 10 or 15 years lead to this? As I listened to my friend's minor key laments, they appeared numb to the loss. I'm not sure if they were beyond anger or avoiding it. But they said they felt like their marriages were doomed from the start. Too different as people. Too many cutting words that can't be undone. Too little appreciation. Too many years where the disappointment was kept bottled up inside. Ultimately, a matter of bad chemistry - that they did not fit - and they did not feel any attraction and barely felt respect. But again, is chemistry the measurement we should use? Chemistry implies a good mix, a harmony, a blend. But if the larger divine purpose for each of us is vitality - then maybe we what we need most is friction - a catalyst that pulls out, not so much our best, but our worse that needs to be brought into the light. Not abuse or manipulation - but another human being being raw and honest and not afraid to be a mirror to us. I know we'd never plan it this way, and never date with this in mind - but I'm hoping this is the truth... because chemistry changes. Feeling fade, and return. Sometimes they were killed before the marriage even started. So, as we want to uphold the virtues of commitment - I continue to see chemistry and vitality in tension - knowing that we all long for strong chemistry - and yet admitting that my own marriage may not always pass the test of good chemistry - but has certainly pushed me towards being more alive.

in celebration of surviving

This past saturday offered a chance to get a baby sitter for the kids, grab a bottle of wine, and join good friends for a birthday party for 6. Our dear friend was a January baby - so we gathered to celebrate her... and catch up on their trip to DC for Obama's swearing in - and stories about our respective 10 year marriages - and how for some of us the first 5 years were harder, for others, the second 5 years were harder... and for some - all 10 have been hard. But we celebrated surviving - honoring our friends and the birthday girl - with dinner and this poem...

"In Celebration of Surviving," by Chuck Miller

when senselessness has pounded you around on the ropes
and you're getting too old to hold out for the future
no work and running out of money,
and then you make a try after something that you know you
won't get
and this long shot comes through on the stretch
in a photo finish of your heart's trepidation
then for a while
even when the chill factor of these prairie winters puts it at
fifty below
you're warm and have that old feeling
of being a comer, though belated
in the crazy game of life
standing in the winter night
emptying the garbage and looking at the stars
you realize that although the odds are fantastically against you
when that single January shooting star
flung its wad in the maw of night
it was yours
and though the years are edged with crime and squalor
that second wind, or twenty-third
is coming strong
and for a time
perhaps a very short time
one lives as though in a golden envelope of light

How To Eat An Elephant

If you were king, or president, or governor or CEO... and you had a big problem that affected as much as a quarter of the people you were responsible for... would you choose a comprehensive solution that would take 10 years to implement, or... divide the problem up into 10 more manageable pieces so you could take some immediate action and solve it in 10 steps? There may not be a right or wrong answer - in fact, some will argue that a leader cannot and should not solve the problem at all.

Our new president and congressional leaders are faced with such a problem - as the healthcare crisis in America involves not only our neighbors in need of care and medicine (compassion)... but also every healthcare provider who is struggling to survive under the weight of provider services without reimbursement (sustainability). With votes being cast in the recent and upcoming days, healthcare policy is near the top of the list for President Obama and the Congress - along with every Governor and state government. The first big policy shift will be an expanded SCHIP program - to provide an additional $33 billion over 4 1/2 years to cover an additional 4.1 million children - along with the 11 million children already covered by the program.

While this still leaves tens of millions of adults and even children uninsured, maybe this is the way the Administration is planning to eat this elephant - one bite at a time - starting with children, then covering the parents of those children, and eventually filling in the remaining gap with a FEP (Federal Employee Program) - like solution and/or a significant funding for more FQHC clinics across the country. Where do you see this going? How would you chose to eat an elephant of this size?

About Time, for Wine... and Healthcare

Isn't it about time for wine to be sold and purchased freely in the state of Tennessee? We see this problem in the health care space I also work in - where state lines prevent individuals or small businesses from pooling together to spread their risk and be able to have more affordable choices when purchasing health care. This is America, the land of choices, and melting pots of taste and preference. We're about free markets that look to supply and demand - and only regulation when it protects us from corrupt power or promotes the "common good". The laws preventing common sense health care freedom of choice remind me of the regulation in TN (and other states) that prevent us from buying on-line, buying at Publix or other grocery stores, as well as getting the discounts and variety that larger chains bring. Now, we do get the benefit of the Grand Cru's of the world - who offer a small and personal boutique experience - but I content they would survive just fine - as free market forces would still bring me back... and other less interesting stores would fold - as they should - since they have not changed to attract customers in a 100 years - because all the laws are on their side. I want stores to earn my purchase. Try harder - knowing I have unlimited choice - and you will have made a better store and a more loyal customer. If you are interested in seeing the wine laws in TN change - check out: http://www.tnwinelovers.net/index.html

Holiday Banter & The Terrifying Anonymous Solitude

A Holiday dinner typically brings an ideal space for my outgoing spirit to shine in its fullness - pulling out all the stops - delivering laughter, playful humor, and a toast for whatever the occasion - even if I have to make one up. This year, Kim completed the last of 4 important exams... and dad secured an extension at his work. There's always a reason to raise our glasses, I think - and togetherness and cheer give way to conversation, which I love the most! One meal, we went around the table and offered our favorite Christmas carol and movie - to which I proclaimed the predictable "Chestnuts Roasting... and It's a Wonderful Life" to some groans from the guys but a good feeling in my chest. I love to ask questions about things deeper than many people initially offer - and most find that engaging and meaningful - by the end. The wine helps, but all in all we cover a vast array of topics from parenting, childhood memories, politics, activism, God. This dinner, I found myself chiming in with great ease - filling in each quiet moment with another question, another observation, another joke, another topic. With several of us around the table, there is always someone to pounce on the bait - and so the conversation continues in rapid pace. It works. It's functional, and even appreciated. Its fun to be the "life of the party" as they say! But, this time I reflected on this and realized that the dinner was perfect in nearly every way except that we accomplished a myriad of words and a great pace, but lacked margin, quiet, space. It got me thinking about why we move so fast and what we miss out on. It made me think about how busy we all are - with a good sense of what is important in life, but poor execution year after year. You know, the typical things people on their death beds write poems about: taking walks for our health, wresting with our kids, writing hand written notes to people we care about, praying, and taking time to just rest long enough so we can hear our own thoughts and maintain our bearings.

A good friend gave me a book called Sabbath which I started reading over this holiday. Page 51 offered... For some people, emptiness can feel fertile and spacious, alive with possibility... But others feel emptiness as an ache, a void; something painful, in need of being filled. Most are far more anxious about having to confront whatever will come up in the empty space, when (we) are quiet and alone. Who knows what terror lurks in the anonymous solitude?

As the new year approaches, with it's customary invitation to make resolutions in our lives, I am considering embracing more of this emptiness- more of this intentional quiet and rest. For me, maybe the blessing of being gregarious also comes with an invitation to be more settled the need to rest. I think we are all afraid of the quiet - even the more introverted souls who stay busy at work or in the kitchen or with some other distraction. The invitation to all of us is to pay attention to how we engage conversations, to-do lists, and how much time we set aside for intentional quiet. Who knows what we will hear. It may be terrifying things we have been trying to avoid - or forgiveness we needed to know. I was blessed to find some of both this holiday - and wish the same for you. Happy New Year.

Just One Lesson

As I approach another birthday, I have been thinking a lot. Today, over lunch I was talking with a close friend and we agreed that we once thought, and even hoped, that the lessons we learned in life would stick with us - that we could retain them and build on them, but that has not been my experience with the really important lessons. We get into the hard moments in life (we're out of money and scared, we lost our job and loosing confidence, we lost a dream and now tired of risking again, we lost a friendship and tired of feeling alone). These hard moments seem to come as a total surprise and so we lose our bearings and grasp at false choices. Sometimes we give up and pull back and get depressed and worried like it's all to much to bear and the outlook is utter disaster. I feels hopeless when you just know it will end badly. Sometimes we hold on even tighter and try to make something happen, trying to control the entropy that answers to no one. Headaches set in, and traffic surrounds us. A trip to the wine store or Netflix provide a short-lived distraction... but the darkness is all back before long. It never occurs to us that the lesson we learned in the light (just 10 days ago or 10 months ago) was meant for this very moment. Oh, I remember the small lessons or pithy truths - like "don't cry over spilled milk" or "this too shall pass" and "the sun will come out tomorrow"... but it's the bigger lessons and truths beneath cliches that elude me. Is there someone, namely God, in control of everything? Is there someone who's ultimate plan is good? Does it all fall on my shoulders... or is there a force bigger than me that is blessing me, looking out for me, and even providing for me? If I stumble, will someone help me? In hard economic times like these, most of us will have to learn to live on less, many of us will struggle to make ends meet, while others will not even have bread and milk, let alone presents under a tree for Christmas. I wonder if they feel that God is small and has abandoned them, or if they know their God is big because they see how he helps them find a way every day. So, here I am again, rethinking this lesson... relearning this lesson... and realizing that there may not be 1000 lessons to learn in life; rather just 1 core lesson that we need to re-learn and re-experience a 1000 times.

Lucky

This Thanksgiving, I feel... and maybe more then ever before... I feel... Lucky. My wife, my kids, my work with the Dispensary of Hope, St. B's, new dear friends, supper club, our home. It all takes a lot of hard work, and sacrifices, and willingness to endure set backs and dissapointments... but today, more than anything, I feel fortunate. I feel like I am getting the better end of the deal - blessed and lucky.

Exactly what is "socialism"?

For two years now, we've all been hearing that if Obama gets elected, the forces of socialism would take over our country. Honestly, it sounds scary (like an alien invasion or attack of the body snatchers)... but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that no one ever seemed to explain it or even understand it, so I decided to resist joining the masses in fearing something I didn't understand, and research the topic. Here's some of what I uncovered...

If we were starting a new country, history shows us variations of a few ideologies that orient how a country's economy and government works. To best answer what socialism is, it helps to unpack the extreme opposites of capitalism and communism - which revels socialism's place.

A. Capitalism was founded on concepts from the manuscript "Wealth of Nations." It features: individualism, free markets, profit motive, and private property-in a environment of civil liberties. In it's purist form, it rejects all government regulation and intervention and relies completely on supply and demand forces of a free market. It suggests that wealth is the primary sign of success, whereas the rich deserve to be rich, and the poor deserve to be poor. America and the western world offers examples of how it may be the best structure to offer maximum opportunity and sustainability, but because it favors the rich, its weaknesses are greed and corruption at the top and cyclical poverty at the bottom.

B. Communism started with the observations and questions raised by Marx who wanted to right the wrongs of monarchy and capitalism and achieve Utopia. He articulated the ideals of the common good, social responsibility, economic collectivism, and group ownership. In the 1700's, Lenin applied this ideology by forming Communist Russia where the state controlled all industry, wealth, and land ownership to ensure equal housing, wages, benefits. The former USSR, Cuba, and China offer examples of how communist dictatorships demand citizen compliance, control the press, and realize mixed economic results but limited freedom.

So, as I'm understanding it, capitalism and communism could be considered opposites - both in terms of economic drivers and individual freedoms. So, I'm convinced that some of Communism's ideals are not all bad (common good) but capitalism is superior if you actually want the economy to work and citizens to be free. So, it appears there is a reasonable argument that capitalism requires modifications to achieve the "common good" - and this is why various government interventions are added. It's not a replacement model like Communism, rather an attempt to create a hybrid mix of the best of capitalism and the best of communism's ideals. Looking for an example? Look no further then America! Yes, the US model is NOT pure capitalism. To try to correct the shortfalls of capitalism, we've added Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the VA, unemployment benefits, and other social services. Now, we can debate if the government has already gone too far, and that Obama would take us further... but my friends (thank you Mr. McCain), we are already a part capitalistic and part socialistic nation.

The Beginning of the End of the "Religious Right"?

Remember the good old days when political categories were simple and predictable? Democrats represented unions, teachers, the poor, and the liberals (aka the godless Left)... while Republicans could always count on big corporations, hunters, seniors and God-fearing church-going folk (aka the "Religious Right"). But is this still true today?

The 2008 election of Senator Obama, and a modest overthrow of the Republicans in Congress reveals that the categories are shifting. Did you know that per NYT Exit Polls Obama made gains among religious voters - attracting Catholic (54%) and Jewish (78%) votes, and even Protestant and Evangelical voters(45%)? It's interesting that so many Jewish Americans supported a man that the GOP tried to cast as Muslim and not pro-Israel (and then just today Obama selected a Jewish man to be his Chief of Staff). It's also interesting that Obama attracted 43% of all people who "attend church at least once a week" - so either churches have lost their way, or maybe Obama stands for enough priorities that fit inside their Christian world view. Granted John McCain won the votes of more of white Evangelicals, but it was by a smaller margin than President Bush won in 2004 and many younger voters that I have met who go to church saw the 2008 election as an opportunity to rethink their faith and politics - and we've not been comfortable landing in the stereotype of the "religious right" of the Republican party. Some did not vote republican for the first time and voted independent or for Obama. So what is the explanation of this exodus from the "Religious Right" by so many church-going people?

I read an interesting article today that offered an explanation... Some theologians suggest that the religious shift signals the emergence of a faith-based coalition that will counterbalance or, perhaps, replace the religious right. It’s made up of mainline religious progressives, black and Hispanic Evangelicals, and a growing number of younger, white Evangelicals and Catholics.
A “whole new faith coalition is coming together and reaching out to allies in other faith traditions, both Jewish and Muslim,” says Jim Wallis, a theologian on religion and public life. “The generational shift [among Evangelicals and Catholics] is very significant. Many young Christians cast a post-religious-right ballot.” Other analysts say Obama did make inroads with younger white evangelicals in key states like Colorado and Indiana, where he boosted his support among Evangelicals by 14 percentage points and 8 percentage points, respectively, over Kerry’s 2004 levels.

So I wonder... Is this a reflection of a younger generation that is not as traditionalist... or is it possible that God is actually neither a Republican or a Democrat - and one party does not own Him... and both sides reflect priorities that matter to thoughtful Christians. As a former "Right-wing" Republican, I recommend that the GOP and conservative Christians in particular resist "The Sky is Falling" dismay, and in stead do some soul searching and look again at the broader list of priorities that matter to God. Otherwise, they are going to continue to lose voters - and before long there will be a voting block called the "Religious Left" who are still pro-life and pro-marriage but also identify with broader moral values of stewardship - around poverty, health care, creation-care, and womb to tomb right to life - that inspires creative solutions to balance personal responsibility with the common good.

The Day After America Elected Obama

Last night, nearly 100 million citizens engaged in their democracy and showed up to pull the lever - and the conclusion is that, for the first time in a long time, we voted down the Republican candidates and voted up the Democrats and the first black President? At the same time, we voted in California, to uphold the traditional and Biblical definition of marriage, while allowing doctor assisted end of life measures and legal use of "illegal" drugs.

Senator Obama's first words as President-elect showed promise of humility, inclusiveness, and pragmatic problem solving. Only time will tell what these soaring words will look like - but I expect a thoughtful decision maker, who leans on the pragmatic needs of the country as a whole more than making the Democratic majority congress happy. I could be dead wrong, but so could the scared conservative nay-sayers.... and only time will tell. For now, over 60,000,000 Americans voted for Obama - and he deserves a chance, our support, and let's see what happens.

Daddy, will you still like me if I play for the NY Giants?

I was sitting on a stuffed blue child-sized chair with my 5-year old on Sunday while watching a captivating episode of "Little Bear." Sometime after the duck and his friend started having a tea party, my son looked up at me and blurted out, "Dad, I was thinking that when I grow up I want to be a spaceman.... and (long thinking pause) a football player. But not for your team, the Eagles. No, I will be a football player for the Giants. Dad, if I play for the NY Giants, will you still like me then? My son adds... "Because, I really want you to still like me all the time."

I shifted 100% of my attention to this little boy's central question. It is my question and your question. Whatever the "if", we need to have someone respond with an emphatic yes, That they will always still like us. I looked down at my son, and said "I will like you and love you no matter what... and if you play football for the NY Giants, I will jump up and down and cheer for you." He just turned and started watching Little Bear again... but we both knew that while Daddy is an Eagles fan through and through, something even more important was just established between us. Later that day, it just so happened that the Eagles game was not shown in our area, but the Giants and Cowboys game was. So, I cheered with my son - and his aunt and uncle visiting from out of town - and just so happened that the Giants won!

The Silver Bullet Against Obama!

I was recently presented with the transcript of the Obama radio interview that was supposedly kept secret until now to the delight of a hopeful come-from-behind GOP ticket. I was curious, as I am much more a fan of the whole truth than I am any party or candidate, so I read it eagerly. While this is an interesting discussion, I did NOT find a silver bullet against Obama. First of all, the facts... then a note about political tactics.
It appears that Obama, serving as a law professor at the time of the interview, was using the constitutional law language of "redistribution" - which we, understandably, would confuse with the typical socialism concept. As is noted further down in the commentary, Obama was making a point similar to MLK, about how the founding father's crafted the constitution so it provides basic general rights - and the grammar happens to be where most is stated in negative (states may not do x, y, z), but it does not say what you have to do - and certainly not in specifics, as this was left to the States (aka "Federalism"). Obama agreed that the Constitution's role is to provide these general boundaries... and then the states and federal legislature's role is to flesh out the details of how those rights are ensured. (Note this is rather conservative, not liberal, theory Obama is agreeing with here). In some cases, the courts get involved to try to interpret the constitution and subsequent laws - and sometimes they are criticized for legislating to try to make something wrong right. It's not a strick conservative approach for sure, but I can appreciate how just because something is law does not make it right or relevant - and changes (i.e. amendments and new laws) are needed for our documents to be moral. MLK made the point that the constitution did not specifically say that black Americans have the right to vote, so the civil rights movement needed to push to have legislation ensure that. Once that was in place... MLK make the point that the right to vote still did not address the closely related factors that caused the injustice - like poverty and work place discrimination - and ultimately real change requires the change of the heart. Apparently, the legal way to state how the intention of laws need to trickle down into the reality of positive social change is accurately called "redistribution of wealth" - meaning that the stated benefits of the constitution and new legislation (words) are realized by the people in need of it(action). It has NOTHING to do with taxing rich people and giving it to poor people. It's has EVERYTHING to do with how our government, constitution, and laws actually protect and benefit citizens.
Now to political tactics. I find it interesting that this is circulating with 1 week to go... because it has been out there all along, and if it was a real silver bullet, they would have used it a long time ago... but now that there is desperation... along comes the totally false smear. Even Obama's recent comment about "spread the wealth around" was not about socialism - as there is a lot of ground between communism/socialism and top-heavy system that favors the rich and the powerful. It starts with getting back to a level playing field (the very rich and corporations can hide their money in shelters from taxes... while you and I can not)... and then our tax policy flows from that based on a responsible balanced budget. I'm not a law professor nor a political hawk, so if I got this wrong, please let me know. Meanwhile, I do know that individual responsibility and contribution and the common good are not mutually exclusive - and we need both.

Confessions from a Former Right Wing Republican - Part 2

After college, I took a good look at the uncomfortable ideas Jesus talked about. He had this troubling way of challenging the cultural, religious, and political lines and reminding us that we’re all equal – equally wrong and he wasn't impressed. Furthermore, he had a thing for siding with the poor, powerless, the ugly and outcasts. To make matters worse, I read much of the New Testament recently, and oddly enough, never heard him tout the American dream, capitalism or even challenge gay marriage or pro choice (not that He did not care about these single issue voter “hot buttons”). He said he did not come to judge the world, as we had already judged ourselves as lost and needy, rather he came to heal the sick, stand up for the prostitutes, and invite all of us into his redeeming love – and then called us to pass on that love. Oh, and not just to other white conservative Americans, but to the terrorist – and even our neighbors who migrated here from Mexico and don’t speak English very well yet (but remember, "English Only" is something we should really fight for!). The scriptures went on teach us to actively make peace and to go directly to people where there are a problems(which is now being cast as a risky approach if a president did this). Most of Jesus' kingdom of God ideas are pretty risky, you know. Jesus did not spend any time at political cocktail parties; rather he seemed to move in the direction of people like us – people who come from every-day disappointment and disorder. He associated with the crooks from Wall Street and the strippers from Las Vegas and ate dinner at the pubs with the blue collar drunks. He seemed to have a broad definition of "pro life"... while, in contrast, many in my former party hate abortion and defend the rights of unborn babies (as do I), but also speak as though they hate immigrants, hispanics, blacks, and the poor, and certainly sinners and the French. Is that really "pro-life" or just pro-life, if the baby is a white, conservative American baby? It strikes me that Jesus lingered with the crack addicts at the homeless shelters... and I think he only went to church one time - and he got mad at them. So, he took the time to get to know you and me - and saw the unpredictable dad who alternated abuse and pizza-nights in lieu of an apology. He saw the hunger and embarrassment of poverty, or a cruel sibling that carelessly wounded with lasting insults. He saw the school-yard bully who stole your lunch or a thin-crazy-culture that told you that you were not beautiful – while persistent boys that told you otherwise - only to steal some of that beauty. For many of us, childhood insecurities blossomed in to high school pressures, which were confronted by loneliness or broken-hearted-ness or both. Next, college yielded thought-formation and freedom but also financial debts and a new identity crisis. By the time we reached 30, we were either single, trying to be content with a condo and a cat, or married with two kids and a stuck in the corporate rat race. Along the way, we may have stayed in church, leaving behind some of what we were told to believe while finding some of it as our own. But still, the inner voice is restless because we’re still not totally sure who we are, if we are beautiful, if we are loved, if we are more than just our resumes and reputations. And since we are not sure, we either do the best we can to stay on this road less traveled and do the hard work of figuring out these questions later in life or… we just try to forget all the questions and trade them in for membership to a club where we cling to a set of rigid ideologies that bring a sense of order an identity. Essentially, we join an “us” – so we belong. Unfortunately, this often involves a harsh definition of a “them” – and we end up being more against something then for something. And the only sanity - the only alternative is the stuff Jesus talked about and the invitation for us to find belonging with him.

I did. And it did not let me stay so blindly attached to a political site, so, I left the Rebuplican party. If you were overly loyal to the Democrat party, you may find yourself needing to leave as well. And ironically, while I am now somewhat of a problem to my friends... in leaving the "right" club that promised belonging, I have actually found a place where I really belong.

Confessions from a Former Right-Wing Republican - Part 1

I started thinking about how good it used to be some years ago when I was a clear-cut, die-hard Rush Limbaugh republican. I belonged. I knew I was right and I knew the other side was dead wrong. There was a clear bold line to not cross, and both God and... Ronald Regan himself were on my side. Even at a young age, that was comforting to me. It was also intellectually stimulating, as I was learning a logic and language and I could argue a lot of points, and where my arguments broke down, I could rely on the obvious attacks of “liberal”, “socialist”, “left-wing”, and “godless”. To make it feel even more "right", I was was taught these things by the people who taught me about God and church. But, even as a little boy – it did not sit right in my soul... and I think that was when my loyalty to the republican party felt its first crack.

I grew up being told that Catholics don’t go to heaven. My father had his reasons, but seemed to hate gospel choirs, Martin Luther King and all black people. I have been told countless times that the King James Version is the only “real” Bible. I’ve heard immigrants labeled as worthless, the poor disregarded as lazy people who deserve what they get and anyone of Middle Eastern dissent as terrorists. Do you see what was offered to me? I was young and needed to belong - and both belonging and being right were mine and all I had to do was just agree with everyone around me. But, it still did not seem to square with most of what I heard about in church. I was just a kid, but it did not seem like Jesus hated so much. Still, I observed that belonging seemed to requrie that we carve out a homogeneous high ground where we feel superior and right – and then systematically use a blade to cut out, and cut off literally millions of people, or worse yet, our next door neighbors, with disdain. And somehow, we do this with a warped gratification like we did God a favor by ridding the world of parts of his created image he mistakenly loved. I know what it's like to grow up in an unsafe storm, but are we so loved deprived that we are willing to have so much hate? Is this part of why America is so divided, where now, as adults, In the midst of living life, we have some 300 million people who are constantly being courted by two polarizing sides – who offer belonging and identity and the satisfaction of being on the right side. This is true in politics, but it’s also with religion… and, according to Jesus, it’s a false choice and a counterproductive allegiance. So, I am no longer a right-wing republican – but I am also not a democrat. It’s not a third party thing, and it’s bigger than populism.

David Dark reminded me in his book The Gospel According To America that “…our desire for a quick fix, a to-do list, or an easy explanation of whom we’re supposed to love and who’s most deserving of our wrath is born of a natural need for meaning and order. We want answers and resolution, and we’ll pledge allegiance to whatever personality or principality can give it to us the quickest.”

"Soccer Dads" for... ???

For the last 10 weeks, my wife and I have been enjoying watching our 5 year old son, Jamieson play soccer with his new 4-5 year old friends: Leo, Daniel, Sam, Ellory, and Tate and coach Brett.  Today, was the last game, and Jamieson had moments of glory (scoring 3, count em, 3 goals!) as well as moments of distraction (look at that red balloon) and mindlessly going the wrong way! As the game finished, I glanced down the fields (we were one of 8 games) and noticed an overwhelming majority of... Dads!  What about the "soccer mom" norm?  Granted, there were still a host of minivans, but it appears that Dad's have stepped up to the plate (sorry, wrong sports analogy) and are taking over as sideline cheerleaders!  This got me thinking about politics again.  We've all heard a lot of talk about "Soccer Moms" and "Hockey Moms" representing the middle class, hard working, family values voters - who are destined to support Palin and the Republican ticket. So, is it fair to conclude that if Soccer Moms are for Palin/McCain, then this new revolution of progressive, involved "Soccer Dads" are for Obama? 

As for me... this "Soccer Dad" is mostly just for... my 5 year old son - and the spontaneous joy he (and I) felt this morning, oblivious of the high price of gas or the decreased value of my 403b, when he kicked the ball into the goal and threw his hands up into the clear blue sky to celebrate a moment even bigger than Nov 4th.!  

Politics aside...how do I elect the right wine?

Did you know that only 12% of all wine consumers are considered "enthusiasts"? That leaves 88% of us who buy wine in a wine store in the less celebrated categories that include "overwhelmed"! I was thinking about the last time I walked into a wine store: I started by looking around for clues to get my bearings (Is this set up by country? by grape? by bottle size? by some color coded system?), and then see the store clerk heading my way. To fair... I know they are really really smart people who drink lots of wine (herein lies the fine line between being an expert and an alcoholic) and know how to read all the funny labels and pronounce all the grapes, and I know they are trying to be helpful, but I am feeling the a building sense of pressure to think of something fast to avoid this conversation. I just know they are going to ask me questions I don't know the answers to. I quickly try to decide on red or white. I consider calling my wife to see what we're having for dinner or if she has a preference, but then remember someone telling me that the pairing rule has changed and everything goes with everything now. Scrap that idea. I like big reds, but am trying to branch out and try more white. I get distracted by an interesting label with a purple frog, and then realize the clerk is even closer now. Hurry up, Dan! I run through the list of the wines I've enjoyed recently (Kline Cab, Pine Ridge Chenin Blanc, La Crema Chardonnay, and what was the name of that Malbec Jimmy suggested?). I nod at the clerk and pivot towards the blends, trying to illustrate my decisiveness, but he follows me and asks if he can recommend anything. Pause. What if wine store clerks found a way to help me figure out what I like rather than just pushing what they like? Wouldn't that be a better way to create an experience and keep me as a loyal (and now educated) customer. Imagine if you went into Starbucks and stood in line for your chance to have the kid behind the counter suggest his favorite latte... and then you agreed to buy it thinking "I'll give it a try". We do that in a wine store all the time, except the price is $10 instead of $3. There must be a better way. In fact, a friend of mine (Reb) and I are trying to crack this nut and figure out how to use pictures to illustrate what each wine tastes like and make these available in wine stores and through hand-held mobile devices so you can be empowered to make your own enlightened decisions. Meanwhile, don't be alarmed if you find me wandering aimlessly around in your local wine store trying to avoid an awkward conversation while looking for the perfect wine to go with dinner and ease the pain of this never-ending political season. For more information: go to http://www.vintagegraphs.com/index.html

Does it matter how experienced you are if you are wrong and out of touch?

Now that Sunday afternoon football is behind us (with the Titans winning a punishing brawl only paralled by modern partisan politics... and all thanks to the the arm and experience of the second-string journeyman QB, Collins who replaced Vince Young, the superstar with potential but undeveloped leadership), I am starting to shift my thoughts to Tuesday's presidential debate - where unlike the NFL, experience does not seem to be winning out. As Nashville's own Belmont University is navigating it's recent controversial departure from it's conservative Baptist roots, it is preparring to host Senators McCain and Obama as they too offer a contrast of republican traditionalism and democratic relevance, and the risks of each. For all the critique of both Obama and Palin as too inexperienced, how can it be that they are the ones who have captured the hearts and minds of voters on their respective sides? Is it due to thier shared "out-sider" perspective? Is it Palin's folksy approach and Obama's new language and vision for this country? It's telling that while America may find valid comfort in experience, we are now even more motivated by the opportunity to see real change, and we are seeing it in the persons of Sara and Barack... the only challenge is that you really don't want the draw of your ticket to be the VP... so Obama has a decided edge. Obama's inexperience was challenged early on as a liability (and his presidency is certainly a calculated risk), but if the choice is between experienced, but wrong or inexperienced, and right... then maybe experience does not matter.

If I were debating McCain

As I watched the first presidential debate, I couldn't help but offer my minor league swing at a few softball comments that deserved much better answers. Remember, Senator Obama was the underdog, but showed presidential composure, knowledge of the complicated issues, concise 1-2-3 proposals… all while providing a window into how he has, and will engage members of both parties, and foreign leaders – with intellectual generosity, warm but strong diplomacy, and the confidence to look the "other guy" in the eye. Still, if I was advising Obama, I'd suggest...

1. When Sen. McCain rants about what he sees when he looks Putin in the eye… I'd love to see Sen. Obama challenge him by saying… "How can you look dangerous world leaders in the eye – when you can't even look me in the eye?"

2. When Sen. McCain mocks the idea of Sen. Obama meeting with world leaders America has issues with – saying what will that look like… when Iran says they are going to destroy Israel, and you're going to say, "No you wont"…. I'd love to see Sen. Obama say… "As the American people have seen tonight, I take the approach of strong diplomacy, just like I have tonight with you John. When there is common ground, I readily embrace it am not afraid to state it. When you are wrong, I tell you are wrong. It has been said… Stay close to your friends, and even closer to your enemies."

3. When discussing lessons from the war in Iraq, and whether the surge was the right strategy… I'd love to hear Sen. Obama say… "The lessons are 2-fold. It was the wrong war, AND the wrong strategy. So, while I agree with Sen. McCain that we finally fixed the 2nd problem… the right strategy for the wrong war – is still the wrong war!" - What Sen McCain is saying is like… the means justify the end.

4. When talking about values, I'd love to hear Obama say... "As a Christian, I believe in the over-arching responsibility of STEWARDSHIP – which applies to everything I will do as President… From stewardship of the earth and this country's resources... Stewardship of our economy – ensuring Wall Street is responsible for monies Main Street has entrusted to it...
Stewardship of government – and the power to work not only for one's constituents, but for the common good... Stewardship of our family responsibilities – for dads to be fathers, and children to be safe and hopeful for a better future... Stewardship of our neighbors and communities – helping those are trying to climb out of being poor and uninsured – knowing that we are only as strong as our weakest link.

How close is the election???

If the election were today, the electoral college projections are: Obama wins by: 12 votes!

Obama: 238
McCain: 227

http://elections.nytimes.com/2008/president/whos-ahead/key-states/map.html