Just One Lesson

As I approach another birthday, I have been thinking a lot. Today, over lunch I was talking with a close friend and we agreed that we once thought, and even hoped, that the lessons we learned in life would stick with us - that we could retain them and build on them, but that has not been my experience with the really important lessons. We get into the hard moments in life (we're out of money and scared, we lost our job and loosing confidence, we lost a dream and now tired of risking again, we lost a friendship and tired of feeling alone). These hard moments seem to come as a total surprise and so we lose our bearings and grasp at false choices. Sometimes we give up and pull back and get depressed and worried like it's all to much to bear and the outlook is utter disaster. I feels hopeless when you just know it will end badly. Sometimes we hold on even tighter and try to make something happen, trying to control the entropy that answers to no one. Headaches set in, and traffic surrounds us. A trip to the wine store or Netflix provide a short-lived distraction... but the darkness is all back before long. It never occurs to us that the lesson we learned in the light (just 10 days ago or 10 months ago) was meant for this very moment. Oh, I remember the small lessons or pithy truths - like "don't cry over spilled milk" or "this too shall pass" and "the sun will come out tomorrow"... but it's the bigger lessons and truths beneath cliches that elude me. Is there someone, namely God, in control of everything? Is there someone who's ultimate plan is good? Does it all fall on my shoulders... or is there a force bigger than me that is blessing me, looking out for me, and even providing for me? If I stumble, will someone help me? In hard economic times like these, most of us will have to learn to live on less, many of us will struggle to make ends meet, while others will not even have bread and milk, let alone presents under a tree for Christmas. I wonder if they feel that God is small and has abandoned them, or if they know their God is big because they see how he helps them find a way every day. So, here I am again, rethinking this lesson... relearning this lesson... and realizing that there may not be 1000 lessons to learn in life; rather just 1 core lesson that we need to re-learn and re-experience a 1000 times.